Good day to you, all my brothers and sisters! I'm so glad you could join me back here, in our chosen house of worship. I have been sent forth, on this day, by the creator, to testify to you, about the things we need to know, so that we may be better people each and everyday. The fact that there are so many of you here today, fills my heart with GREAT joy and faith that tomorrow shall be a glorious day! Can I get an AMEN?!

AMEN!

Thank you Hobos I paid to sit in the back! Brothers and sisters, an Angel visited me in my dreams last night and helped guide my weary mind towards the spiritual tome in which we can find the way to live our lives. She hovered over my bed and unzipped my pants and filled me with the knowledge to impart to you the lessons we all need to learn! YES! I tell you hear, on this day, all we need to know in life, we may learn by watching the film, Ghostbusters! Can I get an AMEN?!

AMEN!

Thank you Nerds I told that this was a sci-fi convention! Yes, my dear friends, Ghostbusters. In here we see all of the lessons needed to live full and great lives. It's all there! We need only to open our eyes to see! Lesson number 1! Don't cross the streams! Yes my friends, don't ever cross the streams. For if we cross the streams, we only invite catastrophe into our lives. Keep you stream to yourself and all will be well! We must all follow the path of our very own stream. Unless...you know...you need to reverse some sort of interdimensional doorway...so...umm...Then may you cross streams, but only hand in hand with a friend, so that you may both look towards a brighter day and meet each other on the other side! Can I get a praise Spengler?!

PRAISE SPENGLER!

Thanks to you, people waiting for an AA Meeting. Lesson number two! The path to destruction lies only in your mind! Be it Frank Sinatra Jr. or the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, only we decide that which could destroy us! We choose the form of our own destruction. If we keep our minds clear and live a good life, you shall join those of the saved and leave those of the slimed! Can I get a Hail Venkman?!

Hail Venkman!

It is true, my dear friends, that the ultimate sign of the end times, would be dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria! For I do know one thing! So be good! For goodness sake! Whoah Oooooo! Somebody's comin'! The dark ones. Gozer, Zuel, Tempelton Peck, all of 'em! This I know, my friends!! For I have a proton pack charged with prayers and a ghost trap full of righteousness! For I know that Slimer died for our sins! Can I get a Praise Zeddemore?!

Praise Zeddemore!

I think that was Dan Ankroyd back there. We all have a Gate Keeper and a Key Master we must keep separate in our lives! Be it church and state, work life and home life, fire and oily rags, or the actual Gate Keeper and Key Master! If we can keep one portion of our lives from spilling over into the other, even if our girlfriends are turned into dogs, we will keep sorrow from expanding into one really big Twinkie! Who ARE you going to call?!

Ghostbusters!

Yes, Ghostbusters! For if there's somethin' strange! In your neighborhood! Who CAN you call?!

Ghostbusters!

I'm feeling good about this, my friends. I don't need an electrical shock to show me that I know you're all gonna walk away from here knowing that you will be saved. I don't need a PKE meter to show me that you've been enlightened. For if we all go into business for oursleves, there will be a firepole greased with holiness and our containment units shall never be turned off! WHO are you going to call?!

Ghostbusters!

Hooooooo, Nice Shootin' Tex! yes, my brothers and sisters, go forth and preach what you have learned here today! May you all be prophets like Ray Stantz before you. For if anyone asks you if you are a God! You do what?!

Say, YES!

TESTIFY!

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